Real Housewives of Vancouver

Episode 4 finds them burying hatchets — and then digging them back up

Birthday girl Amanda arriving at her party

In episode 4, viewers were privy to “a day in the life” of the Housewives and since none of them really have jobs, not a whole lot happened.

Amanda’s 34th birthday is coming up so she decides to treat herself. A spa day, you ask? Well, not exactly. Armed with Jody and Robin, she heads to Ambleside Dermedics for a Vampire Facelift, a procedure that draws a person’s blood from their arm and injects it back into their cheeks.

She feels “smashing,” so I guess it was worth the $1,200 bucks, or, what some people call “rent money.”

Afterward, Robin catches up with Mary and Ronnie at Cactus Club Café on English Bay.  She gabs about Amanda’s procedure, although neither one of them shows much of a reaction — perhaps because their own Botox and fillers won’t allow for it.

Robin also warns the ladies of her suspicions about Jody and Amanda.

“I just have this really weird feeling that they’re like a little army,” she says.

Over at Jody’s place, we meet her son Josh, who is getting ready to leave Vancouver for Ryerson University in Toronto. They share as close to a genuine exchange as we’re likely to see on the show, with Jody in tears telling her son that she’ll miss him and mentioning something weird about breastfeeding.

Mary convinces Amanda to meet up at a coffee shop in West Vancouver so that they can get to know each other without Jody getting in the way.

She tries to come off as the bigger person saying, “I know that Jody probably has some good parts to her.” But this only seems to disgust Amanda.

She then hands over a bag full of birthday presents for Amanda, which again is somewhat poorly received.

“Mary gives me a gift and then looks at me expectantly,” complains Amanda, who grudgingly invites Mary to her birthday party. Mary says she’ll think it over, but it’s clear that she wants to go.

Robin, meanwhile, meets up with the organizers of the grand prix event who rejected her from singing The Star Spangled Banner. It turns out that Mary had misinformed her, however, and they want Robin to sing in a duet with a teenage boy.

In one of the strangest exchanges of the episode, Amanda and Ronnie get together for sushi. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other since the nasty exchange at Blue Water.

Things get off to a rocky start when Amanda says that she will continue to call Ronnie out when she’s out of line. Somehow, Ronnie starts talking about snakes shedding layers and transforming and Amanda chimes in that she’d like a white snake tattoo. All is forgiven.

At long last, it’s party time at Quattro on Fourth in Kitsilano. Amanda hops in a limo with her boyfriend Kyle, his sister Kari and brother-in-law, Troy. After filling them in on the possibility of drama, Troy, a firefighter, remarks, “I won’t hit a bitch but I’ll shake the shit outta one.”

Not to be outdone, Mary, Robin and Ioulia — she’s still around — roll up in their own limo.

There’s a brief period of normalcy before Mary feels a “cold chill” as Jody and Mia enter the party. Jody quickly pulls up an article about Mary, a former Miss Ohio, claiming she was robbed of her Miss America title. She also disses Mary for supposedly dating a 21-year-old Vancouver Canucks player. “Story is around town that Mary’s a bit of a puck bunny,” she says with a laugh.

Sadly, Mary’s only retort is “At least when I wore a tiara, I earned it.”

She almost leaves, but Ronnie shows up, and together with Robin and Amanda, they convince her to go back inside for dinner. Amanda opens up some average presents — Alexander McQueen scarf, tiara, etc.

At this point, Ronnie says she’d like to discuss the fighting that just went down between Mary and Jody. Jody seems all too happy to indulge but that’s when the episode cuts off.

Oh, the suspense.

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