The Bachelorette: Awkward dates and twists of fate

Manisha Krishnan on Episode 5: ‘Hilarity ensues’



It was the best of times and the worst of times for Des in Episode 5 of The Bachelorette set in Munich, Germany.

Her solo date in with Chris starts off strong — they dress up in Oktoberfest outfits and skip into the town square. Then Bryden, unhappy with the progress he’s making with Des, crashes the party. (But only after several ridiculous scenes in which he asks passers-by if they’ve seen any television cameras while being followed by television cameras.)

He finds Des and tells her he’s going home. She’s miffed, but mostly because he didn’t make up his mind before coming to Germany.

“It’s so annoying,” she complains to Chris. The two of them still have a romantic dinner in a palace, and he reads her a poem. There’s a private concert, of course, and Chris makes an obligatory “fairy tale” reference. She gives him a rose.

In an interview, Chris says he’s falling in love with Des and he knows she feels the same.

Onto the group date, which takes place at Zugspitze, Germany’s highest peak. Suited up in their Canada Goose jackets, the gang heads sleds down a black diamond run. Then they head into an opulent igloo hotel, furnished with couches, beds, fur blankets and booze.

Des spends one-on-one time with Brooks, Mikey and Zak. Brooks spies on her while she makes out with James.

“He’s one way around her and another way around the guys. He’s cutting and short with people and vulgar,” he says.

Later, Des gives a rose to Brooks, igniting James’ fury and some unintentional flattery.

“We’re polar opposites. Brooks is a funny, happy-go-lucky guy,” he says. So I guess by James’ own admission he’s serious and anal-retentive. What’s not to like?

Meantime, federal prosecutor Michael is psyching himself up for a two-on-one date with Ben and Des. He’s misguidedly convinced that Des wants him to expose Ben for being a fraud.

“Today is Armageddon,” he says. “I’m ready to send this f—ker home.”

The date starts off awkward and progressively gets worse.

Des, giving a nod to the beautiful mountains of Lake Louise, Alta., from her season of The Bachelor, dares the guys to do a polar bear plunge on a lake. But she changes her mind last minute, and takes them on a “hot tug” (mobile hot tub) ride instead.

Michael launches into full lawyer mode, aggressively cross-examining everything Ben says. When he talks about his son, Michael asks why he doesn’t call him on the phone very often. He even goes as far as to compare Ben to his own absentee father.

At dinner, Ben says he likes to spend Sundays with his family going to church; Michael calls him out for skipping Easter mass.

Even though I’m not a fan of Ben’s, Michael’s abrasiveness is a huge turn-off. Des debates sending both of them home, but in the end she gives the rose to Michael.

Hilarity ensues when an ego-bruised Ben starts mouthing off in the limo.

“You want me to sit here and look unhappy? I’m not,” he says, adding the night was the worst date of his life.

“Where are we getting drunk? I want to have fun tonight.” I feel sorry for the ladies of Munich who were out on whatever night that was filmed.

The rest of the guys celebrate Ben’s elimination, but are now focused on getting rid of James. Casey and Drew in particular are upset after overhearing James and Mikey discuss how the show will bode well for their careers and about James’ hopes of becoming the next Bachelor.

But no one gets a chance to warn Des before the next rose ceremony, and she keeps James around, sending meathead Mikey home. Next week, the gang heads to Barcelona where the men confront her about James’ shady ways.


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