Shari Killjoy vs Sir Kevin Lamenamer

The latest threat to the delicate sensibilities of children? Rhyming.

Regular readers of this space know that I am no fan of the public education system. But just when you think it can’t get any worse, along comes Manor Park Elementary to push the bar even lower.

This week, children`s author Kevin Bolger was shown the door after Manor Park principal Shari Brodie heard him reading from his new book Zombiekins. Now, I don’t know if this guy Bolger is any good. He is best known for a book called Sir Fartsalot Hunts the Booger, so readers can form their own opinions. But lame fart jokes and bad puns weren’t what got the principal riled up. It was the witch character in the story, whose name is “Imavitch.” Get it? “I’m a witch”? Okay, that’s lame, too, but the problem the head mistress had was not with Bolger’s overly obvious pun, but rather that “Imavitch” rhymes with “I’m a bitch.”

Thus Brodie gave Bolger the boot.

So there you have it. Our schools are so eager to insulate children from anything that even reeks of the real world that they are not permitted to hear words that even sound like rude words.

If you ask me, Manor Park Elementary has one too many crass goals.