On Campus

Daydreaming professors

From the Peak, the student paper at Simon Fraser University, this week:

Common sense tells us professors daydream about our nubile young flesh. It’s well known that the first required class when obtaining a PhD is “imagining 20-somethings nude.” But honestly — except for first-year classes — you have one, maybe two people per lecture worth extensive multiple coital imaginings. So that left me wondering just what profs are thinking about.

I can give credit to female professors — they’re all business. I always assume they’re daydreaming about, “If Jane Austen were alive today, would she wear a miniskirt?” or solving quantum mechanics formulae with categorified algebra. But academia is still a bit of a boys’ club and I just have a feeling deep down in my, well, penis that tells me most of our professors’ minds are elsewhere. That place is endless battle strategy.

Well this guy certainly lends credibility to the image of professors who spend all year looking forward to the first two weeks of September, when nubile young flesh is unearthed from baggy pants and hoodies and instead draped thinly in skirts and muscle shirts. Perhaps I’m qualified to do a PhD afterall.

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