Self reports: only Sith deal in absolutes

I’m in the middle of studying for my health midterm. I’ve noticed that a lot of the “facts” are based on studies that used self-reports.

Self-reports are great. They take away all that fussiness associated with reliable conclusions.

In fact, I say forget transcripts. Applications to professional schools should include a self-reported GPA. And never mind individual reference letters for med school. I should be allowed to self-report my extracurricular activities.

I could fill them in on all my accomplishments.

Like how I discovered the purpose of every single base pair in the human genome.

Designed an efficient and reliable energy system for the space station.

And single-handedly assassinated every single mosquito in Canada.

Actually, I want to perform a self-reported study of my own. First question: “Do you think people ever lie on self-reports?”