Traffic

[A mid-sized holiday mixer is being hosted at a woman’s home. The doorbell rings and she walks up to the door and opens it.]

Woman 1: Hey, you made it!Woman 2: Yeah, hi, sorry I’m late. [she]W1: Oh, no problem. What held you up?W2: Traffic.[silence]W1: Traffic?W2: Yeah, it’s just crazy out there. The snow is heavy, the roads are terrible - it’s pretty bad.W1: Traffic.W2: My car wouldn’t even start at first and - let me just take off my coat - and it was just sliding across the ice.W1: You’re an hour and a half late because of traffic.W2: Yeah, I mean, I’m sorry I’m so late but -W1: No, no, it’s fine, it’s just that I didn’t think you’d have to drive such a short distance.W2: Well, typically I would have walked but it’s so cold outside tonight.W1: But, you live next door.[silence]W2: What are you trying to say?W1: Nothing, it’s just that you live literally twenty steps away from my front door.W2: So?W1: You’re telling me that you physically got into your car, put the key in the ignition and drove 20 - maybe 30 feet - and you somehow got stuck in traffic.W2: Well, if you’re going to say it like that.W1: I just don’t understand how you could have gotten stuck in traffic.W2: Well, you’ve got at least twenty people in your house. I was looking for some place to park.W1: It took you over an hour to park?W2: There was a lot of snow. And besides, it’s not like your house is so easy to find.[silence]W1: What?W2: What?W1: You live directly next door to me. You can wave to me in my bedroom from your bathroom window.W2: It’s so shrouded! You have so many plants and there were all those cars.W1: Look, if you’re just late, that’s okay. I mean-[crosstalk]W2: I just don’t understand -W1: you might have been doing your hair -W2: why don’t you believe -W1: and you just lost track of time -W2: that your house is kind of hard to find -W1: and you’ve created this elaborate story.[silence]W2: It was just traffic.W1: Alright, well, you’re here now so it doesn’t matter. Lets just get you a drink. [She walks to the window and pulls the curtain back.] Wow, I guess you’re right. There really is a lot of snow outside.W2: Yeah, I know.W1: Where did you end up parking anyway?W2: Oh, I just drove around until I decided to risk it and park in your neighbor’s driveway.[silence]W1: You parked in your own driveway?W2: You know, that’s a great top. I have it in blue.