Happy Black Friday, Americans

Dear Americans,

Thanks for all the football on television yesterday. It kept Feschuk busy, and gave me something to do other than watch Two and a Half Men reruns.

Have fun shopping today. I hope you don’t get trampled! Of course, if you’re really worried, you might want to consider just buying nothing.

Love,

ap

P.S. Did you hear we got al-Jazeera?