We miss you, Mike

The sports world hasn’t been the same without Jordan

Ten years (and one day) ago, Michael Jordan officially retired from the Chicago Bulls. He came back, of course, for a few regrettable games with the Washington Wizards, but for those of us who have chosen to mercifully forget that footnote, The Best Ever hasn’t dribbled in a decade. The sports world will never be the same. “People used to ask Jordan, in all seriousness, whether he could fly. He was compared to God. When Jordan retired that day in 1999, someone went as far as to ask whether he would use his spare time to help solve the world’s problems. “I can’t save the world, by no means,” Jordan replied, because apparently that needed clarification. We no longer bother to ask our athletes to rescue us anymore. The best we can do is kindly request they don’t shoot us in the club.”