While Humanity Slept: Monkey Uprising Update

Much like the war in Afghanistan, the monkey uprising went into a bit of a lull through the winter, but now that the warm weather is back the primate insurgency is in full throat, and the monkeys are not being very discriminating in their choice of targets:

A 22-month-old Queens girl, Kimberly Salinas, may have lost her pinky finger after sticking it through a backyard fence, on the other side of which was a neighbor’s caged pet monkey.

And as usual, the monkeys are being aided by countless fifth columnists in the human ranks. For example, whose bright idea was it to teach the monkeys to control robots with their thoughts?

And what fool would train and hire a monkey butler?

Meanwhile, over in India: He’s a revered Hindu monkey god. And now, he’s the chairman of an Indian business school.

(Thanks as always to the ever-vigilant PotterGold dancers, especially Simon and  Wayne, two of the unsung heroes in the fight against the MU).

Looking for more?

Get the Best of Maclean's sent straight to your inbox. Sign up for news, commentary and analysis.