Yo mama was a knuckle dragger, and other primate insults

So it turns out that chimps aren’t living fossils of our shared primitive past, that our shared ancestor was was no knuckle-dragger, and was probably a lover not a fighter:

"It is the chimps and gorillas that have been evolving like crazy in terms of limbs and locomotion, not hominids," said Kent State University anthropologist Owen Lovejoy, a senior scientist on the research team. "We took a different tack. We went social."

Easy there, Owen. That "we went social, they went crazy" line is just fuel on the fire of the monkey uprising: