The bad poetry of Donald Trump, Vol. 5
Aside from the titles, these are the words of Donald Trump—taken directly from the transcripts of recent public events and speeches.
Beautiful Rooms and How I Feel About Them
This is a beautiful room,
I must say.
I love beautiful rooms
and this is one of them.
It Could Be Infinity
This is infinity here
It could be infinity
We don’t really know.
But it could be
It has to be something.
But it could be infinity, right?
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This Has Never, Ever Happened
One of the things with the wall is you need
transparency.
You have to be able to
see through it.
When they throw the large sacks of drugs over,
if you have people on the other side of the wall,
you don’t see them.
They hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff?
It’s over.
Taking Their Word for It
Charles began taking
machine tool operation courses
from a technical college.
He immediately excelled.
He was really, really good at it, they say.
That’s what they say.
I haven’t checked.
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How Good Am I at Fracking?
I’m a
tremendous fracker.
Time Travel
I was telling Mike:
It was two days on my birthday.
Until a big day,
which turned out to be tomorrow,
the sixteenth.
That was the day I came down
with Melania
on the escalator at Trump Tower.
That’s tomorrow.
It’s exactly tomorrow.
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Case Closed
And I said to him:
“Were you involved with the meddling in the election?”
He said:
“Absolutely not. I was not involved.”
He was very strong on it.
I then said to him again,
in a totally different way:
“Were you involved with the meddling?”
He said: “I was not. Absolutely not.”
Now,
he said “absolutely not” twice.
What do you do?
End up in a fistfight with somebody, okay?
MORE: Donald Trump’s speech on faith, translated for the rest of us
Did You Ever Hear of That?
The floating LNG terminal
on the Croatian island of Krk
Did you ever hear of that?
Right?
Huh?
You know all about that.
I bet you know all about it.
And the Greece-Bulgaria Interconnector.
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A Promise About Promises
I promised you:
I keep my promises.
Sometimes in politics
they take a little bit longer
But we get there.
We get there.
Don’t we get there?
You better believe it
We get there.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, we keep our promise.
Day One
I’m very proud of my daughter
Ivanka.
Always have been
from day one.
I had to tell you that.
From day one.
She’s always been great
A champion
She’s a champion.
If she weren’t my daughter
it would be so much easier for her.
Might be the only bad thing she has going
if you want to know the truth.
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I Expect Good Things
So when we get back
the first thing I’m going to do is:
“How did we do on the vote?”
I expect good things.
Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be
talking about it,
to be honest with you.
I’d just sort of low-key it
a little bit.
I don’t like losing.
I don’t like losing.
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First Name Basis
Terry, go out there.
He’ll be joining Secretary of Agriculture,
somebody you all know very well,
the legendary Sonny Perdue.
And a man who is another legend
on Wall Street,
truly a legend,
they just call him Wilbur.
Where Wall Street is big and strong,
he’s just known as Wilbur.
It’s Wilbur Ross.
Wilbur Ross,
Secretary of Commerce.
Carl Icahn called me.
He said: “Donald, I heard you got Wilbur.”
That was it.
It wasn’t: “Wilbur Ross.”
A Tough One and a Big One and a Good One
That doesn’t sound like such a big deal
It is.
Believe.
That was a big one.
We thought this would be easy.
He said: ‘That’s going to be a tough one.’
So that was a good one.