Anderson Cooper

These are tough times for a dictator. Scott Feschuk understands—and he’s here to help.

I’m not really sure who Anderson Cooper’s upcoming daytime talk show is supposed to reach — he’s no replacement Oprah, that’s for sure — but I do have a suggestion for the opening credits and theme music.

Paris’s speech caps a heartbreaking tribute: “Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine.”

Hopefully Mr. Fleischer tries harder when he’s working on our behalf.