Zero

The only thing more predictable than Canada’s slow start at the Summer Games, is the hand-wringing reaction back home. Once every four years, Canadians sit down in front of their TVs with a beer and a bag of chips, and wonder why their athletes aren’t topping the podium. The “Why do We Suck?” stories start popping up in the papers, and so do the tables comparing our medal showing to say, the Marshall Islands, or maybe just Michael Phelps.

Ah, I’ve been waiting for someone to put this back online: “Mr T. vs. Cats,” made in that glorious time when the only things people cared about were “All Your Base Are Belong To Us” and Mr. T webcomics.