Made in Canada

According to the Globe and Mail, Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion was challenged by one of his MPs yesterday to “show what he’s made of” and kick-start the electoral machine that remains unprepared for a federal election in Quebec.

One problem: most of us have already figured out on our own what Stephane Dion is “made of.” Here’s how it breaks down…

7% Snakes, snails, puppy dog tails.

18% Tweed.

2% Heart that beats with secret lust for Sandy Rinaldo.

23% Brain so powerful and high-pitched that only dogs can understand the decisions it makes.

29% Water (tap, not bottled).

6% Organ that used to be pancreas but has been reengineered to produce constant stream of excuses for not forcing an election.

3% Balls (currently the legally property of Mr. Stephen Harper, Sussex Drive, Ottawa).

11% Titanium endoskeleton that renders him completely impervious to flamethrowers, grenades and the cold, hard reality of his situation.