On Campus

Breathing the same air as Stephen-freaking-Hawking

He's the King of All Nerds, the Overlord of Physics, and he’s coming to Waterloo

Stephen Hawking. He’s the King of All Nerds. The Overlord of Physics. The Creator of Impressive-Sounding Theories that Some of Us Pretend to Understand. He’s revolutionized our understanding of black holes and the beginning of the universe. Most impressively, he’s appeared on Family Guy.

And this summer, he’s coming to Waterloo. As in, I’ll be breathing the same air as Stephen Hawking. My puny, average-sized human brain cells will be within a 20 kilometer radius of Stephen Hawking’s mega-sized “can legitimately use the phrase ‘quantum mechanics’ in a sentence” brain cells.

Never mind being within the same city limits as Stephen Hawking. Imagine being his child? Forget science fair projects about volcanoes and bread mold. When your dad is Stephen-freaking-Hawking, science fair projects are probably more along the lines of a fully-functioning particle accelerator. Instead of helping his kids with their homework, I bet he used to just say, “Oh, forget it,” and then shoved them out of the way.

But isn’t his quest for a ‘Theory of Everything’ kind of like licking every jelly bean in the bowl, just so your younger brothers can’t eat any? I mean, who does this guy think he is, anyway?

Oh. Right. Stephen Hawking.

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