Der skandalnamenkontest

Name That Scandal
What should we call this Mulroney-Schreiber thingy? As in, “the (your name here) scandal.”

  Other (enter your preferred alternative on the results page)

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Thanks to everyone who took up my challenge to Name that Scandal. Most of your suggestions were awful, but then most of mine were as well. A few, however, were distinguished by their adequacy.

A large group were variants on Air- something-or-other: Aircash, Airgraft, Airbags, etc. Of these, I think the best were Airbust (contributed by an anonymous entrant) and Airbucks (anotheranonymous entrant).

A second group was built on the sturdy Schreiber- chassis: Schreiberola, Schreiberfreude, etc. Of these, the most euphonious were Schreibergelder(Joan Tintor) and Schreiberbriber (Canada Goose).

A third group suffered from too much cleverness, at the expense of clarity: for example, Brieber, or Leaderhoser. If you have to explain it every time, it’s not going to work. Pay Comeau, the Hotel Lobby, and the Pasta-Fee Catastrophe display something of the same affliction, while being too specific to cover the many facets of this affair — though I admit to a certain fondness for the Pasta Disasta.

Yet another group was not nearly clever enough, being but variants of the dreary -gate or -scam conventions:Airgate, Schreibergate, Bribescam, etc. It was the purpose of this competition to avoid such dullardry. An honourable discharge, however, to the impeccably Germanic incomprehensibility ofswinetroughschreiblerooneywermachten-

So, unless I hear prolonged squawking, I’m going to put four nominations up for you to vote on: Airbucks, Airbust, Schreiberbriber and Schreibergelder. (Yes, I will allow write-in candidates.) These get at the essential elements of this complex business — Schreiber, Airbus and money — without unduly narrowing its scope.

Bear in mind as you vote the need for ease of use: we want this to enter the language, which can only happen if it’s quick, catchy and rolls easily off the tongue. Imagine it as it would appear in a sentence: “The xxxx affair took a fresh turn today when…” or “the key to understanding xxxx is…”

Now vote.


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