How utterly, charmingly, quaintly, sickeningly Canadian

So, we import an Aussie from that ’other’ enlightened former colony to pretty up the opening ceremonies. Said Aussie includes a handful of French talent almost as an afterthought, illuminating what we all know to be true: only on paper is Canada an officially bilingual country. Quebec media freaks out, English Canada freaks out at this freak out. This guy, this guy, these guys and, wow, this guy all find themselves saying roughly the same thing, albeit with varying degrees of rhetoric. As a result, French is quickly backloaded into the closing ceremonies, likely prompting more of the above.

Canada: kingdom of the mutually aggrieved.