Newsmakers: A is for Atlas

Most parents opt for baby names that won’t get their kids teased off the playground, which explains why Ava tops the girls’ list in Canada, while Ethan is No. 1 for boys, according to Today’s Parent. Alas, celebs saddle their offspring with the kind of monikers—Reign Beau or Tu, who has the last name Morrow—that invite no end of mirth and torment.

THE ANCIENTS

Atlas: Anne Heche & James Tupper Hermès: Actor Kelly Rutherford & Daniel Giersch Gaia: Emma Thompson & Greg Wise Homer: Anne Heche & James Tupper Moses: Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Ptolemy: Gretchen Mol & Tod Williams Sophocles: Actor Jemaine Clement & Miranda Manasiadis

OTHER CELEBS

Dezi: Actor Jaime Pressly & Eric Calvo Jagger: Soleil Moon Frye & Jason Goldberg Kal-el: Nicolas Cage & Alice Kim Tennyson: Russell Crowe & Danielle Spencer Harlow: Nicole Richie & Joel Madden

ROYALTY

God’Iss Love: Singer Lil’ Mo & Al Stone Jermajesty: Jermaine Jackson & Alejandra Oaziaza Marquise: 50 Cent & Shaniqua Tompkins Prince Michael II: Michael Jackson & surrogate mom

NATURE

Bluebell Madonna: Geri Halliwell Daisy Boo: Jamie & Jools Oliver Daisy True: Meg Ryan Nakoa-Wolf: Lisa Bonet & Jason Momoa Petal Blossom Rainbow: Jamie & Jools Oliver Poppy Honey: Jamie & Jools Oliver Puma: Erykah Badu & The D.O.C. River: Actor Keri Russell & Shane Deary

GEOGRAPHY

Alabama: Drummer Travis Barker & Shanna Moakler Bronx Mowgli: Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz Heaven: Actor Brooke Burke & David Charvet Java: Actor Josh & Yessica Holloway Kingston: Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale Mars: Singer Erykah Badu & Jay Electronica Shiloh: Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Sierra Sky: Brooke Burke & Garth Fisher

ASSORTED OBJECTS

Banjo: Actor Rachel Griffiths & Andrew Taylor Denim and Diesel: Singer Toni Braxton & Keri Lewis Loden: Actor Peter & Kelly Reckell Peanut: Actor Ingo Rademacher & Ehiku

JOBS

Deacon: Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillippe Moxie CrimeFighter: Magician Penn Jillette & Emily Zolten Poet: Actor Soleil Moon Frye & Jason Goldberg Pilot Inspektor: Actor Jason Lee & Beth Riesgraf Ryder: Kate Hudson & Chris Robinson