BREAKING - Another Liberal candidate flees in terror. . .

. . . his senses apparently so deadened by the horrifying prospect of campaigning on the Green Shift that he’s running in the wrong direction! The calls are coming from inside the house!

Former police chief to carry Liberal banner in Palliser

REGINA – Former Regina City Police Chief Calvin Johnston will be the Liberal candidate for Palliser, Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion announced today.

“I am proud that Calvin Johnston has decided to run as the Liberal candidate for the riding of Palliser,” said Mr. Dion at a press conference in Regina. “As former Chief of Police of Regina, Mr. Johnston understands that the most effective way to tackle crime is not simply through tougher prison sentences, but it is also about addressing the root causes of crime. This is why Mr. Johnston was so successful in making Regina a safer place.”

Hee. Sorry about that. I just can’t resist blowing up a good narrative, y’all.

To be fair, despite being exactly the sort of supporter that the Tories have been wooing with such strategic ardor with their tough-on-crime policies, it still seems unlikely that even a former chief of police will be able to pry loose the Conservatives’ grip on Palliser – except, of course, for the still-unexplained absence of Dave Batters, the sitting MP, who – as far as we know – is still planning on running for the party in the upcoming election, despite having dropped out of sight back in July due to unspecified personal issues.

UPDATE: I’ve edited my original post based on Batters’ announcement that he would not be seeking reelection.

Alternately, if with Batters were to having withdrawn from the race, the local party association will be under pressure to nominate someone in record time – not because of the potential threat posed by Johnston, but by the NDP, which held the riding from when it was created back in 1997 until 2004, when Batters beat out incumbent Dick Proctor by just 124 votes. (This time around, the Dippers are running former mayor Don Mitchell.)

Anyway, I’m sure that if you ask Ryan Sparrow, he’ll explain how this is just more evidence that the Liberals are flailing in hideous, agonizing disarray over Stephane Dion’s malevolent megalomaniacal non-leader-beingness.  Maybe he’ll even put you on his mailing list!