The bad poetry of Donald Trump, vol. 3
Aside from the titles, these are the words of Donald Trump—taken directly from transcripts of recent public events and speeches. You can read the last volumes here.
By the Way
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
We are going to reduce your taxes
Big league
Big
Big
By the way
Aren’t our borders getting extremely strong?
Questions for the Senate Majority Leader
Mitch McConnell
Where is he?
Come here, Mitch
Thank you, Mitch
How you doing, Mitch?
Hey Mitch
Are we going to be okay?
Everything good?
That healthcare is looking good?
Good
Thanks, Mitch
The Three Phases of Health Care Reform, Fully Explained
Phase three
There will be incentives added
Phase three is a part of it
You have phase one
Which you know about
You have phase two
Which is really not a phase
And then phase three
A lot of the goodies are added in
The end result is
When you’re at
Phase one Phase two Phase three
It’s going to be great
It’s going to be great
That’s My Guy Right There
I saw this man on TV just now:
You
I just saw him on television
He said: I love Trump
Let Trump do what he has to do
That’s my guy right there
Come here
Let him up
I’m not worried about him
I’m only worried
He’s going to give me a kiss
I’m not worried about anything else
This guy is so great
He was one of many people
Come on up here Come on up Guy was great
Hop over the fence
Come on He can do it He’s in good shape
Look at him Look at this guy This guy is great
This guy
Because of Selfish
If this bill were perfect
If it was the greatest thing
For Democrats and Republicans
We wouldn’t get one Democrat vote
They’re going to vote against it
Because of selfish
Intelligence Briefing
I saw it this morning on Fox & Friends
I watch
I like that group of three people
But they had a man who was saying:
Trump is the greatest president ever
And there will never be one like him
But he was very enthusiastic
But he was talking
Donald Trump Totally Wrote Down Those Dates
So as you folks all know
Henry Clay was the legendary Kentucky politician
Who became the eighth Speaker of the House
In 1811
You know, they compared my campaign to Jackson
President Jackson, right?
1828
1828
That’s a long time ago
Oh, boy
Governing is Hard!
We’re going to bring it down
Medicine prices will be coming way down
Way,
way,
way
down
And that’s going to happen fast
We’re just adding to the bill
I said: We’ve got to add that to the bill
“We’re going to do a bill later”
We’re trying to add it to this bill
And if we can’t
We’re going to have it right after
We have some crazy, arcane laws, folks
Just in case you haven’t heard
I Didn’t Be Booed I Be Booo-urns-ed
Tonight I’ll go home
I’ll say: Listen
I’ll turn on that television
My wife will say: Darling, it’s too bad you got booed
I said: I didn’t be booed
I said: No, no
They were booing Obamacare
It is Somehow Fitting That Trump Would Liken His Own Election to a Natural Disaster
In 2016
The Earth shifted beneath our feet
The rebellion started as a quiet protest
Spoken by families of all colors and creeds
Finally
The chorus became an earthquake
Land Sucks
The soon-to-be commissioned Gerald R. Ford USS
What a place
It really feels like a place
You stand on that deck
And you feel like you’re standing
On a very big piece of land
But this is better than land
I Have No Idea What the Facts Are But These Are the Facts
They gave me this beautiful hat
I have no idea how it looks
But I think it looks good
It’s a great looking hat
It Was a Random Adjective Tide
Many brave Americans died that day
And through their sacrifice
They turned the tide of the Pacific War
It was a tough tide
It was a big tide
It was a vicious tide
And they turned it
They Were in My Office
Harley Davidson makes great motorcycles
They were in my office
They were in my office
And they came in
I said: How you doing?
“Great”
How’s business?
“Great”
How do you overseas?
“Well, it’s tough. We have some countries that charge us a 100 per cent import tax”
I said: 100?
“100 per cent”
Think of it
Melania Ivanka
My wife was here last week
And took a tour
And it was something that she’s still talking about
Ivanka is here right now
Hi, Ivanka
Donald Trump Answers the Question: “Why not wait to tweet about it until you can prove it? Don’t you devalue your words when you can’t provide evidence?”
Because The New York Times wrote about it
Not that I respect The New York Times
I call it the failing New York Times
But they did write on January 20
Using the word wiretap
And I think if you watch
If you watched the Bret Baier
And what he was saying
And what he was talking about
And how he mentioned the word wiretap
You would feel very confident
That you could mention the name
He mentioned it
And other people have mentioned it
Selflessness
I don’t think it’s fair
And I’ve been complaining about it for a long time
Because I don’t care about me anymore
I care about the people out there
Me, I’m very satisfied
Trump Explained in 15 Words
We don’t like bad news
Right?
I don’t want to hear
An alternative to good