
The poetry of Donald Trump, vol. 1

Apart from the titles, these are the words of Donald Trump—taken directly from the transcript of his sit-down interview Wednesday with ABC News’ David Muir. You can read the last volumes of Trump poetry here.
An Important Difference
Mr. Pompeo was just approved
Affirmed by the Senate
He’s a fantastic guy
He’s gonna be the head of the CIA
And you have somebody fabulous
as opposed to the character that just got out
Who was not fabulous at all
Two Questions About Torture
Do I feel it works?
Absolutely I feel it works
Have I spoken to people at the top levels
and people that have seen it work?
I haven’t seen it work
But I think it works
America
Our roads,
our bridges,
our schools.
It’s falling apart.
MORE: Our books writer Brian Bethune’s dystopian Trump era reading list
On Certainty
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure, done.
I Don’t Actually Know If There Was Voter Fraud, or How Much Voter Fraud There Was, But Somehow—Somehow—I Apparently Do Know This
Of those votes cast,
none of ’em come to me
None of ’em come to me
They would all be for the other side
None of ’em come to me
My Hands Are Tiny So You’re Going to Have to Bear with Me While I Compensate
I spoke to the crowd
I got a standing ovation
They said it was the biggest standing ovation
since Peyton Manning had won the Super Bowl
and they said it was equal
I got a standing ovation
It lasted for a long period of time
That speech was a total home run
They loved it
People loved it
They loved it
They gave me a standing ovation
For a long period of time.
They never even sat down,
most of them
Clearing Things Up
You have a lot of stuff going on
possibly
I say probably.
But possibly.
We’re gonna get to the bottom of it.
Actually, No, You Brought It Up When You Obsessed Over It for the Entire First Full Day of Your Presidency
You just brought it up
I didn’t bring it up
I didn’t want to talk about the inauguration speech
But I think I did a very good job
and people really liked it
You bring it up
I didn’t bring it up
They say I had the biggest crowd
In the history of inaugural speeches
But I didn’t bring it up
You just brought it up
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You can’t have thousands of people being shot
In a city
In a country
That I happen to be president of
Maybe it’s okay if somebody else is president
Chicago
I love Chicago
I know Chicago
And Chicago is a great city
Can be a great city
It can’t be a great city
Excuse me, it can’t be a great city
If people are shot walking down the street
For a loaf of bread
Can’t be a great city
On Problems, and Having Them
So look
Look
Our country has a lot of problems
Believe me
I know what the problems are even better than you do
They’re deep problems
They’re serious problems
We don’t need more
The President Explains the Trump Doctrine to a Man Named David
There’s plenty of anger right now
How can you have more?
The world is a mess
The world is as angry as it gets
What? You think this is going to cause a little more anger?
The world is an angry place
The world is a total mess
The world is a mess, David
Honestly, Based on All Evidence to Date, I’m Not Sure We Can Admit That
Remember the $5 billion website?
Remember the website fiasco
I mean, you do admit that I think, right?
The website fiasco