hello? roget’s thesaurus? i’d like to cancel my order of 700 synonyms for “miniscule”

The author of this blog will be “on hiatus” – the English language’s fanciest words for “off loafing” – during the week of June 30. Thus were scores of defenceless readers spared approximately 347 increasingly insensitive references to, and schematic diagrams of, the contents of the Verne Troyer sex tape...