Submit your questions for the Monday Mailbag…

… in the comments below.

I’ve already received one marriage proposal in the Mailbag, raising the total number of marriage proposals I’ve received over the course of my career to – let me add it up – one and a half. (Three years ago, a woman at McDonald’s asked me if I wanted fries with that, but she said it in a pretty sultry voice – so I could tell what she was REALLY asking.)

Actually, 1.5 proposals is not an accurate tally. Several ladies, some of them not even fictional, requested my hand in marriage when I served as Blog Boy for the Liberal party during the 2006 election. You can imagine my dismay when, after we lost, I saw several of my “devoted” admirers making time with my arch-rival, the victorious Conservative Spin-o-Matic 3000 Blogging Supercomputer and Waffle Iron. Damn you, Bloggie!!

Anyhoo, in keeping with this theme, next week’s Mailbag shall be devoted to questions of a personal nature. Need help with a relationship? Need help getting out of your relationship? Need help getting the other person in your relationship out of your relationship? I’m here to help. Or you can pose a question on behalf of a friend, acquaintance or hilariously inept celebrity or political figure.

(In answer to the relationship question now forming in your head, Liberal Party of Canada: What you do is you tell this Stephane fellow you need him to move out pronto – and take all his Allman Brothers albums and moisturizers with him. But you can’t be without a boyfriend now – and there’s no time to choose among your trio of suitors, dammit! – so you need to call up an old flame for a quick six-month fling at 24 Sussex. Hello, Paul Martin – how’d you like to be Prime Minister of my heart again?)

Looking for more?

Get the Best of Maclean's sent straight to your inbox. Sign up for news, commentary and analysis.