That speech is so money... Washington baby, Washington!

January 31, 2009

Barack Obama’s chief speechwriter, Jon Favreau, the man who helped craft the new President’s memorable inaugural address, has been described in the press as a 27-year-old “baby-faced wunderkind.” But what if Obama’s inauguration speech had been written by the Jon Favreau from Swingers?

America, my name is Barack Obama. We met over the course of the past few years, and I just wanted to let you know that I had a really great time. It would be really great if we could stay in touch. And I love America and – [Applause].

You know what, there was some applause there and I’m not sure you heard what I said just now, so let me repeat – had a great time, great if we could stay in touch. Anyway, sorry to drone on and everything. But like I say, I love Ameri— [Applause].

IloveAmerica! There – just wanted to get that in to be sure you heard it. And I know you love America too. So we should hang out together and see where it goes. Where it takes us, you know. No expectations, no pressure. Let’s just see what happens. OK? Great. Thanks a lot. That’s it.

[Obama begins to walk from the podium, then turns and races back.]

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I’ve just got out of a two-year primary race and a long election campaign, OK? So that should explain why I’m acting a little weird up here. I just want you to know that. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry.

[Again he turns to leave, then rushes back.]

But we should talk about this. It feels weird me just talking and you not saying anything.

[Long pause.]

Actually, you know what? This isn’t working out. I think you’re great, America, but maybe we should just take some time off from each other.

It’s not you, it’s me.

It’s what I’m going through.