So CTV has purchased exclusive rights to the Hockey Night in Canada theme song, presumably for use on TSN and beyond. This feels a bit like Superman ripping off Batman’s theme song to score chicks, but I guess I can get behind any tactic that gives us dramatic closure on the CBC’s latest achievement in dumbness.
I was pretty sure that Hockey Night in Canada valued tradition, what with its constant references to the value of tradition – not to mention an opening sequence that began every Saturday night with black-and-white footage and the voice of Foster Hewitt. But apparently they value Exciting National Contests even more. Picking a new theme song is sure going to be Exciting! Even now, I can sense the members of April Wine reuniting to re-record Sign of the Gypsy Queen with hockey-based lyrics and cheeky references to Don Cherry’s neckties.
Having chosen novelty over tradition, CBC will surely be unveiling many more exciting “improvements” to HNIC, such as actually calling it HNIC – for coolness, dude – forcing all intermission guests to perform a dance number with Elliotte Friedman (viewers, you decide the winner: is it Darcy Tucker’s tango or Saku Koivu’s robot?) and transforming Coach’s Corner into the thrilling new game show Are You Smarter Than This Fifth-Grade Dropout?
Spoiler alert: Yes. Yes, you are.