There Is No End To the Terror of Canned Pasta

Jaime Weinman

By request, another canned pasta commercial made in Canada (should I say Canned-nada? no, I shouldn’t), one that creeped out even more kids than the Alpha-Getti Gobbler: a double commercial for two Heinz products, one where the pasta was shaped like ghosts and witch’s hats and such, the other shaped like spooky aliens. The two pastas argue over who’s scarier, all while menacing and apparently preparing to slaughter some blue guy and his C3PO ripoff sidekick. They really did have a lot of kid-centric commercials that were frightening or weird, didn’t they? I guess their market research told them that kids would be more likely to ask for these products if they were terrified.

The voices of this cartoon were the same people who were doing the Care Bears cartoon at the time, including Luba Goy (Air Farce).

The blue guy didn’t seem to be any more competent or any less cowardly when he was in his own commercial with his ripoff-y sidekick, though they did discover what Hollywood apparently hasn’t found out yet: 3-D doesn’t actually make you better, just bigger and thicker.