to have or, you know, the other option

I’m tried of all the moaning about Ontario potentially losing its standing as a “have” province in Confederation. Consider just some of the upsides of becoming a “have-not” province:

  • Hear Saskatchewan has extra futon we could crash on.
  • McGuinty no longer expected to pick up tab when premiers go together to strip club.
  • Being from poor side of the tracks makes you attractive to rich, flighty spendthrifts like Paris Hilton and Alberta.

  • Ontarians no longer legally required to wear monocles.
  • Maybe Danny Williams’ windshield needs a good squeegee?
  • Understuffed wallet no threat to wear away fabric in back pocket of province’s denim shorts.
  • Quebec’s been one for years and those guys get all the breaks.
  • According to fine print of equalization formula, every Ontario resident now owed one glass of lemonade served personally by Gordon Campbell.
  • “Have-not” provinces renowned for all-night, heavy-drinking parties set to fiddle music in steerage while snooty “have” provinces must endure Billy Zane’s terrible overacting.
  • That’ll teach Newfoundland and Labrador to be self-sufficient.

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