Look, I like virgins too. They’re handy for sacrifices.
Dear Highest Bidder: You are a man who has amassed great wealth and head trauma
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Scott Feschuk is a columnist for Maclean’s and Sportsnet magazines. He writes speeches for business leaders and politicians of varied political stripes. A three-time winner of the Gold award for Humour at the National Magazine Awards, he is the author most recently of The Future and Why We Should Avoid It (Douglas & McIntyre).