On Campus

The anti-wish list

The top three things I don’t want for Christmas

graphing calculator, calculator, Christmas gift3) A Wii Fit

Video games aren’t meant to be a work out. When you have a remote control in your hand, you’re not supposed to break into a sweat or even have to stand up. Video games are supposed to transform you into an amorphous blob with a pasty complexion and underdeveloped social skills.

2) A ‘Giant Microbes’ plush toy

Ever wanted the cuddly teddy-bear version of an infectious disease? Then you should check out Giant Microbes plush toys.

Personally, I don’t really understand the appeal of stuffed toys that were featured on my Microbiology exam. When I first saw them at the University of Waterloo bookstore, I thought, “Who the hell would want one of those?”

A second later, I heard my sister say from behind me, “OHMYGODTHOSEARESOCUTE!”

1) A graphing calculator

A friend of mine is actually hoping to find a graphing calculator under the Christmas tree. If someone gave me a graphing calculator as a gift, I’d probably think it’s some kind of sick joke. And yes, it probably means she’s one of those replicants from Blade Runner.

Then again, her name is “Emma,” so she was kind of destined to ask for boring gifts. Of course, the whole graphing calculator thing is exactly why she’s going to make it into med school on her first application.

If I make it into med school, I’ll probably be sending her postcards from Grenada.

-Photo courtesy of Andres Rueda

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